This is my 12-step program to understand, acknowledge and become the woman of worth I believe I can be. I feel like I'm at a point in my life where nothing is how it once was and being the person I've been is not going to get me any further. I have this overriding desire to reinvent myself. We'll start at the beginning to give you just a bit of insight into my life thus far.
I was born in Colorado. By the time I was eight-years-old, I had moved at least eight times and had just relocated to my eighth state. That's a lot of eights! We moved once more within that year before settling into the house I grew up in. When I look back on my childhood, I remember glimpses of places we'd lived before, but honestly, nothing compares to the memories that were made in that house. A change in my dad's job uprooted my family once more. I was in high school by this point. We trekked across the country to the place I graduated high school. Not even a month after that my family moved to Utah--where I currently reside.
My family has since moved but I decided to stay. Looking back, my main reason for staying is because I had really good friends in the area and I wasn't ready to let go of those friendships. I had a couple of months with them before we all went our separate ways. The two boys I held so dear finished their semester at school before leaving for two years on Mormon missions. One currently serves in the Kobe Japan mission, and the other in Mexico. I can never remember which mission he's in though. My dearest friend, the person I was most reluctant to let go, met her sweetheart, fell in love, got married and is now living in Idaho. Word's cannot express the impact she had on my life and I will forever be grateful for the friendship she showed me. The world is a better place with her in it.
Looking back I realized that staying here--instead of moving with my family--is possibly one of the best decisions I ever made. Though by the spring my best friends had all gone, that summer was amazing. I really opened myself up to building friendships in my ward. I'm not sure that's something I've allowed myself to do this summer. I knew everyone in the ward by name and I'm pretty confident I could you something about each of them. By the end of the summer a few of my closest friends moved away but still others remained. The school year started and though I was not attending, my summer job as a lifeguard at the local water park had come to an end, and some plans fell though leaving me with no place to live, I made the best of the challenges that came my way. Eventually I got a job working full time and moved into my new apartment. That's brings us up to date.
Working full time gave me the opportunity to live my life in a way that I had never previously been able. I think I sort of lost who I was because of all the material items I surrounded myself with. I am currently the owner of a 32' flatscreen LCD TV, a BluRay player, a brand new mountain bike, and about three times as many clothes as any normal person needs. Seriously, if I had more underwear, I could probably go three months before needing to do laundry. Those may or may not seem like significant things to you, but I never had much growing up. My family was frugal because that's all we could afford, not because we had another option. While I enjoy my possessions, after a couple months of doing some serious spending, it just sort of dawned on me that these things themselves do not bring me the happiness I am looking for.
I believe that is the basis behind this whole blog. I know my life is lacking something. This thought recently came to me, a lot of the problems I face can be solved and in time avoided by understanding and acknowledging that I am a daughter of God. By understanding my individual worth and my relationship with God the Father, many of life's challenges will not affect me the same way. I will be able to handle what trials come my way, I will be able to avoid tempations of the world, I will have more confidence and more respect for myself, and my relationships with others will grow. I am a daughter of a God, who loves me and wants me to be happy. I have this feeling that once I really internalize that concept I will be able to live my life the way I've always wanted.
I lost my job last week. All the sudden I feel like I have all the time in the world to work on myself. I am finally starting school in the fall and my hope is to feel like I have a handle on my life by the time I attend my first class. Because from now until then is the only time I really will have all to myself before I have to start worrying about classes and work and so forth. This blog will go through my progress to understand my individual worth. As I learn of my relationship with my Heavenly Father, I hope to be able to have the confidence I need to not only endure through the challenges of life, but to excel during those time.
My testimony has taken a bit of a hit the past couple months, but I know this. I believe in the gospel. I believe that there is truth and by acting in faith on that belief, I will be able to come to a knowledge and build an unwaivering testimony in the most solid foundation any person can hope to have. Jesus Christ. In His name I say these things, Amen.
I was born in Colorado. By the time I was eight-years-old, I had moved at least eight times and had just relocated to my eighth state. That's a lot of eights! We moved once more within that year before settling into the house I grew up in. When I look back on my childhood, I remember glimpses of places we'd lived before, but honestly, nothing compares to the memories that were made in that house. A change in my dad's job uprooted my family once more. I was in high school by this point. We trekked across the country to the place I graduated high school. Not even a month after that my family moved to Utah--where I currently reside.
My family has since moved but I decided to stay. Looking back, my main reason for staying is because I had really good friends in the area and I wasn't ready to let go of those friendships. I had a couple of months with them before we all went our separate ways. The two boys I held so dear finished their semester at school before leaving for two years on Mormon missions. One currently serves in the Kobe Japan mission, and the other in Mexico. I can never remember which mission he's in though. My dearest friend, the person I was most reluctant to let go, met her sweetheart, fell in love, got married and is now living in Idaho. Word's cannot express the impact she had on my life and I will forever be grateful for the friendship she showed me. The world is a better place with her in it.
Looking back I realized that staying here--instead of moving with my family--is possibly one of the best decisions I ever made. Though by the spring my best friends had all gone, that summer was amazing. I really opened myself up to building friendships in my ward. I'm not sure that's something I've allowed myself to do this summer. I knew everyone in the ward by name and I'm pretty confident I could you something about each of them. By the end of the summer a few of my closest friends moved away but still others remained. The school year started and though I was not attending, my summer job as a lifeguard at the local water park had come to an end, and some plans fell though leaving me with no place to live, I made the best of the challenges that came my way. Eventually I got a job working full time and moved into my new apartment. That's brings us up to date.
Working full time gave me the opportunity to live my life in a way that I had never previously been able. I think I sort of lost who I was because of all the material items I surrounded myself with. I am currently the owner of a 32' flatscreen LCD TV, a BluRay player, a brand new mountain bike, and about three times as many clothes as any normal person needs. Seriously, if I had more underwear, I could probably go three months before needing to do laundry. Those may or may not seem like significant things to you, but I never had much growing up. My family was frugal because that's all we could afford, not because we had another option. While I enjoy my possessions, after a couple months of doing some serious spending, it just sort of dawned on me that these things themselves do not bring me the happiness I am looking for.
I believe that is the basis behind this whole blog. I know my life is lacking something. This thought recently came to me, a lot of the problems I face can be solved and in time avoided by understanding and acknowledging that I am a daughter of God. By understanding my individual worth and my relationship with God the Father, many of life's challenges will not affect me the same way. I will be able to handle what trials come my way, I will be able to avoid tempations of the world, I will have more confidence and more respect for myself, and my relationships with others will grow. I am a daughter of a God, who loves me and wants me to be happy. I have this feeling that once I really internalize that concept I will be able to live my life the way I've always wanted.
I lost my job last week. All the sudden I feel like I have all the time in the world to work on myself. I am finally starting school in the fall and my hope is to feel like I have a handle on my life by the time I attend my first class. Because from now until then is the only time I really will have all to myself before I have to start worrying about classes and work and so forth. This blog will go through my progress to understand my individual worth. As I learn of my relationship with my Heavenly Father, I hope to be able to have the confidence I need to not only endure through the challenges of life, but to excel during those time.
My testimony has taken a bit of a hit the past couple months, but I know this. I believe in the gospel. I believe that there is truth and by acting in faith on that belief, I will be able to come to a knowledge and build an unwaivering testimony in the most solid foundation any person can hope to have. Jesus Christ. In His name I say these things, Amen.
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