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Strengthening My Relationship With Me

I recently stumbled upon an article entitled, Helping Children Develop Feelings Of Self-Worth. In it talks about two specific ways Latter-Day Saint parents can help their children develop self-worth to overcome challenges. Seeing as how we're all children of God, I believe we can apply these things to our own lives to help ourselves develop our own self-worth. Those things are "(1) strengthen the spiritual environment of the home, and (2) maintain a strong, loving relationship with each child."


Strengthening the Spiritual Environment of our Home
Whenever I hear phrases about inviting the spirit into our homes, I always think of cleaning. Like, the spirit can't dwell in my house if my room is messy or if my dishes aren't done and the floor hasn't been vacuumed. So today I am cleaning. I really don't like cleaning but I feel like it's worth it if I can have the spirit with me. I believe that cleaning our homes is just the start of how to invite the spirit. Other ways we can bring that influence into our homes is to read our scriptures, pray, listen to uplifting music, and eat family dinners together. While cleaning can prepare our homes physically to welcome God's influence, I believe it is the little things we do each day that keep that spirit. And when we do these things the spiritual environment of our homes will be strengthened, giving us a good base to feel and learn of our Savior's love for us.

Maintain a Strong, Loving Relationship with Yourself
Each of us have people who love us. But what does that love mean if we don't love ourselves? It is just as important for us to love and uplift ourselves as it is for us to receive this from others. In a lesson given by a member of my bishopric a couple months back he talked about the aspects of our lives that relationships need to be strong. He drew a triangle and labeled the three sides physical, mental, and social. He abbreviated each word and what resulted was the PMS triangle. Best lesson ever. Though this is probably the most mocked lesson I've ever attended (some friends of mine even made a YouTube video about it, you can watch it here), there is a lot of truth to what was said that day. We need to love ourselves physically, mentally, and socially. He went on to say that while having relationships strong in these areas is important, when you add a spiritual aspect your relationship is fortified. I think that is true when dealing with ourselves as well.

Building ourselves up physically I don't think means necessarily looking prim and polished every second of the day, but I do think it's necessary to respect our bodies. That is one of my biggest reasons for this project. There was a time almost two years ago now when I had such a hard time seeing my beauty. I honestly believe this was a tactic Satan was trying to use to get me to leave the church, and it almost worked. I felt like every time I would get ready for church I would just hate how I looked. I just thought I looked fat and my hair was never right and no matter what I did I would not be able to look cute. It was to the point where I didn't want to go to church because I didn't look good. And not just, not looking good, but looking ugly. I didn't want to be around anyone when I was not feeling good about myself. But one day as I was again getting ready for church and I was on my third outfit and had redone my hair twice, I was about to call it quits. It was then I decided, 'today, I'm just not going to look cute and that's okay.' I understand what is like to not feel beautiful. Regardless I can still respect the gift I've been given. I have to find ways to compliment myself each day, no matter how menial. I am a child of God and that trumps any flaw I have. That is my five-year-old comeback to myself when I say something mean, "yeah well, I'm a daughter of God. Times infinity." You just can't beat that.

I don't have much to say about mental strength, I'm not a scholar or an intellectual. I feel like learning is not something I'm very good at. I never really enjoyed school. At the same time though I don't think I'm dumb. Getting an education is important and I am so excited to finally be starting school in the fall. I have my reservations about it but I am grateful to have this opportunity to learn. When I attend my first class in the fall it'll be my first first day of class in three years. That is so terrifying to me. But it brings me comfort knowing that I won't be the only one feeling that way. That there will be other people there just as scared or nervous or whatever as I am. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and making new friends. I don't feel like the most social person but I get by. I enjoy the relationships I have and this weekend alone I have felt like the prayer I never actually knelt down to say was answered. I haven't felt like I've had a lot of friends this summer and just recently I found myself surrounded by people I really seem to get along with. It just goes to show that God knows the desires of our hearts I guess.

Matters of spiritual nature are not my forte either. I feel like I have always struggled to understand the principles of the gospel and I've been floating by. Again, I'm not a scholar or an intellectual so it's taken me a lot longer to really grasp the concepts of the church and to start applying them in my life. Also, I don't think it was ever really that important to me before to live the gospel standards. I grew up in a place where the church wasn't that strong. My influences weren't that great. But here's the thing, I am now in the make it or break it stage of my life. I can't keep floating by. I have to decide if being a member is what I really want. And it is. It's easy for me to see my flaws and I'm hoping that by the end of this project, not that those things go away--I don't expect them to because that's who I am--but that they don't matter to me. I hope that I will be able to find ways to embrace those things about myself and make them strengths instead of flaws.

I do not know a lot but I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that He is pleased to see me wanting and trying to progress and become a better person. I am so excited to build my relationship with Him and to come to a better understanding of who He is to me. He is my Father and I am His daughter. I am a daughter of God. My goal for this week is to approach every experience with the question in mind, "What can I learn about my individual worth and my relationship with God the Father from this experience." As I do that I believe that the way I see myself physically, mentally, socially and spiritually will change. Because if you watched that YouTube video, as they say, "PMS is bad, but PMSS is the bestest." As we grow in these areas our relationship with ourselves will be strengthened and our relationship with God fortified.

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