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Trials Spelled Wrong is Trails Which I Guess Both Get You Somewhere in Life...

So this last little part of my life has been really good. Not because everything is going right--it's not--but because even in my trials, in my struggles, and challenges, I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who can and will provide in my time of need. So far He has. When I put my trust in Him to help me with one trial and He was there for me, my testimony grew. I now know that no matter what the trial, He is there for me, He is mindful of me, He wants me to be happy and successful, and He will provide a way for me to overcome those trials in a way and at a time that in His plan will be most beneficial.

Keeping that in mind, at the same time I am a bit discouraged as well because I know I still have trials I'm struggling with and have been for a long time. It's frustrating for me because if I know God helps us through our trials, why have I had these problems for so long. It's been said that "no man can serve two masters." That being true, why can't I overcome? I want so much to be on the right path and to follow the Lord. If that really is what I want then why do I still knowingly sin or allow trials to come upon me? Well because I'm human and not perfect. But through the Atonement of Christ I can always repent. That has been on my mind a lot recently. Repentance and forgiveness. Acknowledging you've done something wrong is the first step to repentance. I feel like maybe I haven't fully gone through that process with some things. There's a part of me that isn't ready to admit the things I've done but there's a bigger part of me that is so overwhelmingly done dealing with these trials. I'm ready not have them be a part of my life anymore. We had a great lesson on Sunday about change. About how in order to change we have to give up part of yourself and become anew. I want to change and I want to get rid of the part of me that is not in keeping with the spirit. I want to put off my natural man, and while I know that is not something that will happen right away or even fully, I can work towards that goal and I can be better.

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